A new home

I've been here for a mere two months but it feels like I've been here forever. When I first stepped into London's Gatwick Airport, I felt a kind of rush. The blast of cold air gave me a high. I felt a compulsive urge to shake myself off from the dream. After years of planning, failing, planning, and finally succeeding, I am finally here!


In the course of 2 months, andami kong natutunan. Mula sa pag grocery hanggang sa pag abang ng tamang train sa tube. I also gained 5 new cards - one from the bank, oyster, laundry, key card, and my Uni's ID card. Nakakabaliw! It was scary at first pero the thrill of the adventure gave me a different high. Minsan parang gusto kong maiyak. It's a whole different spectrum of emotion - overwhelming happiness, sadness, fear, and thrill all at the same time. 


But of course I soon crashed back to reality. Grabe yung una kong lecture. In my first class, the professor was British. Parang may feeling of de ja vu. I spent more time staring rather than listening during the first day. Hahaha!


Pag tinitignan ko yung mga bahay dito, wow parang gusto ko na dito tumira. Very victorian, old fashioned, the kind of houses that I like. So many things to explore, so many things to do. I am drinking it all in.


If I am dreaming, please don't wake me up.

Context

Dapat nagbabasa ako ngayon para sa isang malaking essay na kailangan kong isulat. Pero dahil committed ako sa world peace, isusulat ko na lang ito. Para ito sa lahat ng may celphone, email ng email, may facebook at twitter accounts. Para ito sa mga taong nabubuhay sa mundong paunti ng paunti ang oras sa face to face na pag uusap. Ito ay tungkol sa context.

Maraming mga kaibigan ko ang nag break sa mga boyfriend/girlfriend nila dahil sa mga mensaheng natanggap sa celphone, o comment sa fb, etc. Sa aking palagay ito ay dulot ng di pagkakaunawa sa context. Ito ay mahalaga sa isang bansang tulad ng Pilipinas na tinaguriang texting capital of the world. By the way, isusulat ko pala to dapat sa Ingles kaya lang mawawala ang punchline at baka isipin niyo na naman na nagmumula na naman ako sa ibang dimensyon. So sariling wika na lang.

Ang context ay ang mga bagay-bagay na nakakaapekto sa pagtingin o sa aksyon ng isang tao. Ang case study natin ay mga mensahe na natatanggap natin mula sa text, facebook at email. Halimbawa: nag text sayo ang ka relasyon mo: Papunta na ako jan. Hintay ka lang.

Kung hindi mo titingnan ang context, maari mong isipin na :

A: Aba, nagpapahintay, loko to ah, break na.

B: Ano ngayon kung papunta ka na? Bakit kasi di umalis ng maaga-aga. Break na.

C: Ano ba yan walang sense of urgency to. Break na.

At kung anu ano pang masasamang pangitain. Dahil lang yan sa agarang pagbabasa, at hindi pagtingin sa context. Tingnan natin siya habang binibigyan diin ang pagtingin sa context.

Una, isipin mo muna kung anong oras niya nga ba sinned yun. Baka tanghali. Mainit ba? Pag mainit umiinit din ulo niya. Nagmamadali so wala siyang time mag type ng mahaba-haba.

Masipag ba siya magtype? Baka hindi so nabubuhay siya sa panahon ng telegrama, paiiklian ang labanan.

Panganay ba siya? O bosing sa opisina? Kaya siguro mejo bossy ang pag text. Maaring di niya sinasadya yun na maging bossy pero nananalaytay na sa kanya yun. Ang hirap kaya mag change ng roles. Hindi naman siya si Darna o si Superman.

Gutom na ba siya?

Maganda ba bahay niya? Malawak? Serious to kasi may mga pag aaral na nagbabago ang mood natin depende sa kung nasaan tayo. So isipin ninyo kung nasaan ang kausap ninyo kasi may impluwensiya ang nakapalibot sa kanya.

Ikaw pano mo ba binasa text? Nakangiti ka o nakasimangot? Subukan mong basahin ng nakangiti. May nabago ba?

Madumi ba celphone mo? Baka kaya ka naiinis kasi di ka na makapagtype ng mabilis dahil dumudikit daliri mo sa keypad sa lagkit ng celphone mo.

Baka kinakailangan mo magpalit ng default font face sa celphone/computer mo? Serious ulit to. Dahil ang font face ay nakakaapekto sa pagtingin natin ng mga mensahe. Subukan ninyong bumati ng HAPPY BIRTHDAY habang gamit ninyo ay yung font na madalas na ginagamit sa Halloween kung hindi ka masaktan ng binati mo. Nakakatulong din ang pagpalit ng font sa mata. Kahit same family pa siya, nakakarefresh. Ginagawa yan ng gmail kung di niyo napapansin. Nagpapalit palit sila ng mga font na magkakapamilya lang (sans serif). Actually pag di niyo napansin na super obvious pero parang may naramadaman kayo na nagbago, ibig sabhin nun matagumpay sila. Kasi di dapat abrupt ang transition.

Sa mga mag jowa na long distance, isipin niyo din kung ano na season sa lugar ng jowa mo. Baka winter dun e di talaga madalas magtetext/facebook/ etc. Lalo na pag walang heater. Parang centralized na freezer yun. Nakakarelate siya tiyak sa nararamdaman ng mga gulay sa ref niyo.

Marami pa tong kasama. Ang sinasabi ko lang, subukan ninyong mag isip muna bago bumira. Tingin tingin ka muna sa kisame o maglinis ka muna ng bahay kung naiinis ka na gusto mong magpalipad ng kutsara sa galit. Dahil kapag nagtype ka na inis ka. Yun, pinapaypayan ninyo ang apoy na nag uumpisa pa lang sumiga.

Ayan, magbabasa na ako. Hangad ko ay isang mundo na kung saan ang mga tao ay nagngingitian. Ngiti kayo. :D



Anti corruption seminar

Hi guys! I am pleased to share with you the anti-corruption seminar we had in UQ. Please click on the links below.

Anti-corruption seminar 1

Anti-corruption seminar 2

Anti-corruption seminar 3

Anti-corruption seminar 4

Anti-corruption seminar 5

Anti-corruption seminar 6

Anti-corruption seminar 7

Isang masayang araw sa kung saan-saan

Pumunta kami kahapon ng mga kaibigan ko sa Gold Coast, isa siyang sikat at sosyal na lugar dito sa Queensland para manood ng Philippine Festival. Yun, we enjoyed it. Sarap ng food nakakita na ulit ako ng siopao, kare-kare, menudo at kung anu-ano pang lutong bahay. Maraming mga pinoy ang hindi na din sanay mag Tagalog. Hahaha! Like nung bumibili ako ng halu-halo.

Jaime: Kuya, tatlo.

Tindero: How many?

Jaime: Tatlo po

Tindero: (Bibigay ang halu-halo) Have you paid?

Jaime: Already. (Hahaha! Lupet)

Yung sa Brisbane naman, ganito din yung taga tinda ng halu-halo. Sabi niya sa amin: how many halow halow? Hahhaha!

Back to Gold Coast.

Ang galing nung mga performers sa concert. They sang the best of OPM hits like “Manila”, “Bongga ka day”, “Awitin mo at isasayaw ko”. Tapos kinanta nung isa yung Big Brother theme na Pinoy Ako. Wala masyado nakakaalam. So nilakasan namin ang kanta ng kasama ko. Pagkakataon na to. Hahahha!

After the concert, nag ikot ikot kami sa perimeter nung area. Andun daw yung Versace Hotel papektyur kami sa may entrance. Lupet nga e. Tapos pasok kami. Ang lakas ng loob namin dahil si Ate Jo ay naka BMW tapos sa parking napagitnaan kami ng Jaguar tapos yung isa pa na sikat din daw yun na sasakyan. Sabi ni ate Jo, ingat lang sa pagbukas ha at baka makasagi tayo. Hahaha!

Tapos yun pasok kami sa Versace Hotel para magkape. Pagpasok pa lang ambango na parang oregano na hindi. Sabi ko ki ate aileen,”Te, anong scent to te? Interesado lang po ako para kasingbango na ito ng room ko. Sabi ni ate aileen, “Ano, linis lang to”. Hahaha!

Siya ikot ikot kami sa may lobby at nagpapektyur ulit kami sa may pool. At may naliligo pa sa lamig na to ha. May naliligo pa dun. Tapos punta na kami para magkape, nakita namin mura lang naman coffee kaya lang pag sa labas kami kumain may pagkain na aside from coffee. So labas kami ang bagsak namin sa McDonald’s. Hahaha! Yun kumain na kami. Masarap naman. Hey by the way harap nung Versace hotel ay Sheraton naman. Sabi ko, “te grabe dapat sa gitna tayo ng dalawa, tapos ang caption sa gitna ng dalawang bonggang hotel ay may mga dukha”. Hahaha!

Pagkatapos naming kumain sa McDo, pumunta kami sa Pacific Fair, mall siya. Yun ang galing nung dalawa kong kasama alam na alam ang mga bonggang stores dun. Like yung “Hermes” na kalahating milyon daw ang isang bag. Ako naman, “bag lang? Isang plant breeding study na yan sa PhilRice! O mahigit 3,000 na kopya na ng tekno bulletin yan. Tapos pag nilabhan yan mamantsahan lang!” Hahaha! Tapos sabi pa ni ate Aileen, bubutasin lang siya ng mga mandurukot sa Pinas. Hahaha! Hindi ko talaga maintindihan yung mga bag na yun. Pumunta din kami sa tindahan ng mga Prada, D&G basta sushal sushalan. Tapos nagpapektur kami sa loob. Nung next shot na namin, lumabas yung parang isa pang staff, tanong kami, pwede magpicture pa? Sabi niya, “Not really.” Suplada. So labas na kami.

The last time magkasama kami ni ate Aileen sa City tumingin kami ng mga relo yung Tagheuer. Lupet kalahating milyon din. Aanhin ko yan! Andaming wall clock sa bahay. Kahit saan ka pumanig may relo na. Pare-pareho naman ng oras. Grabe may diamond daw kasi yun. Naalala ko bigla yung teacher ko sa Chem nung High school, pag inis ka daw sa may mga diamond itapon mo lang daw sa apoy at magiging carbon ulit siya. Tsk, tsk tsk. Basta, inisip ko pag bumili ako ng relo na yun, ilang taong return service ko yun sa PhilRice katapat nun. Hahaha!

In all farirness ang saya ng lakad namin. Kung saan-saan kami nakarating. Ang dami kong nakitang kumikinang pero lahat sila hindi nakakasilaw.

Techno what?

I would never go to the City alone until when I was a month old here in Australia. I was very afraid to get lost. Buses just have numbers and places which were so alien to me. A short travel seemed like thousands of miles away. I got goosebumps whenever I started to see trees and lots of trees. Where am I? How do I travel back to my place? Not once did I enter no through road (unaware of the sign), asked strangers to direct me where to go. No wonder why it took me more than a week before I could find a permanent accommodation. I was just so afraid to navigate. I was too afraid to walk far from St. Leo’s College, where I was housed temporarily. I am just so lucky to have wonderful housemates who toured me around the place. We took public transportation to go to the places that I would need often: grocery, Church, and some places where I could buy the cheapest goods like the Chinatown.

Things have changed. I am now good at the basics. I can now top up my go card (it’s the card for taking public transport just like in MRT) using the machines in the train stations, the vending machines now communicate with me, and most of all I have stopped asking what bus to take and how to get to my destination. I have gotten accustomed to using Translink—the public transportation website that gives you a comprehensive direction including how many metres you need to walk once you get off a train or a bus! That frees me from interpreting the difficult Aussie accent (although I’m also getting good at it now). I have accepted the fact that people here want to communicate with you online. Yup, at times you would ask: where are the human beings? I have gotten accustomed to living in an e-mail society. People are very quick and more efficient in responding to e-mails. I am now used to filling in my username and password not less than 10 times daily. And yes, I am now good at shopping books online! E-commerce! I’m good at it. I find it amazing that I could get out of our house and go back with lots of groceries without a centavo with me! I am now an excellent card ‘swiper’! Forgive me if I am so amazed by all these things. I should tell you that I am a technophobe.

As you have just known that I am a technophobe (sorry for repeating I am really good at incriminating myself), let me tell you that I am also now getting good at communicating with gadgets. Prior to the start of the first semester, I bought a printer. A printer! I remember back in the office, I would have second thoughts touching our printer when there’s a paper jam. I would just wait until someone smarter gets near and fix it. So there I was, not having a choice, I tried to understand the manual very well clapping every time I was able to move from one step to the next. Until voila! It worked! I was just so happy then, and noisy too! I made it work. Second is my new DSLR camera and third is my new camcorder. And I should also tell you that I made internet connection possible in our house by following all those ‘config blah blah,’. I get stressed every time I remember it. I find it amazing and sometimes amusing how I get intellectually challenged by all these technologies. I even have some eureka moments like when I discovered that my earphones for my ipod can be connected to my laptop. Because of that I can now hear my favourite songs even when I’m in the library. And hey, in some presentations that I had this semester I got good marks for effective use of visuals. And mind you, I no longer use powerpoint. I use Prezi. Hahaha!

Before I end this short piece, I should tell you that I am now getting good at giving directions to people. Like yesterday when we were on the train, two Aussies asked me: "Is Milton the next station?" (we were in Toowoong). I confidently said, “No, it’s Auchenflower. Next to that is Milton.” Ate Aileen, my coscholar here had the same experience. Unfortunately she didn’t know the location as well so she volunteered to google it using her blackberry phone. Now, that’s being techno savvy.

Good news

While there were a lot of dismal things that happened like people in the queue for more than three hours, allegations of possible hacking, failure of elections—voila, we did it! The Philippines had a President in less than 24 hours. Back in college while I was doing my undergraduate research, I tracked ICT for development initiatives. From the looks of it, our automated elections is one of the most successful in the world. A number of countries that used automated elections for the first time resulted in failure of elections. I am so glad to note that in less than 24 hours the country had a President although the proclamation came in much later because of some complaints of irregularities which is a classic in the history of national elections worldwide. I am so pleased that this year’s election is the most peaceful we have ever conducted. I could just recall many election officials including public school teachers lost their lives before while performing their duties. I could exactly recall how I started to lose faith in our democratic process when as the manual counting starts, there would be brownouts, presence of goons around the precincts. We have experienced all that. Gladly, we’re over them.

Reflecting on the process, I am so proud that our national media had been very vigilant in making sure that our election would be successful. I appreciated the fact that they made the public aware to the littlest details of what was going on. No wonder we have the freest media in the world. Sometimes OA, but they did a good job this time. I am just very glad as to how the process went. We have just proven the pessimists wrong. I trust that this success could translate to people having their faith back to our democratic process. I hope that the success of national elections could translate to something more—people realising their role in nation building, people becoming active participants in development. I will pray for that.

God bless the Philippines!

Ang pagbabalik

Kumusta na kayo? Grabe napatahimik ako ng UQ. I was intellectually harassed. Basta natagpuan ko na lang ang sarili kong madaling araw ng natutulog o gumigising ng maaga para magtype dahil baka lumihis ang idea na nasa isip ko. Wala ako kahit na isang exam ngayong sem. Meron lang akong sangkatutak na papers na sinulat. Parang writer pala ha,sige magsulat ka! Hahahaha! Sabi nga,kapoy kaayo!

Andaming mga nakakatawang pangyayari nitong sem. Sa class discussions, ang hirap sumingit kung minsan. Nag eenglis naman tayo sa Pinas pero ewan ko ba, iba Ingles nila di ko maintindihan kung minsan. May mga times na gusto ko magtanong ng ano ulit??? Ha??? May mga times naman na ganado ako at salita ako ng salita. Parati kasi ako nakaslouch. Feeling ko yung mga classmates ko, alam na pag magsasalita na ako: pag uunat na ang likod ko. Ang trend: sit up straight, unat ang likod, then fire! Hahahaha! (He’s gonna talk again!). Grabe ang mga sulatin dito parang theme writing lang na mahaba. Hahaha! Nakakatuwa din naman.

I enjoyed group work. Ang productive ng mga discussions. At bihirang bihira or should I say never kaming nag start ng di sa oras. It’s a blessing that my groupmates were all smart and industrious. Walang nanlalamang. Skill din yung iba iba na kami ng opinion pero bati bati pa din. Naalala ko lang sa maraming pagkakataon sa office or sa maraming lugar sa Pinas pag sumalungat ka, minus one friend ka na. Or tatawagin ka ng pangit or smelly, anything but good words. Hahaha! I’m really happy na matatapos tong sem na to na friends ko lahat. Sana madala ko to sa Pinas para love nila ako lahat. Yihee!

And my housemates. Anlaking pasalamat ko na di nila ako nireklamo ang madalas kong pagkanta. When I get stressed, I sing!. Hahaha! There was one time sa kitchen kumakanta ako habang nagluluto sabi nung housemate ko: ‘You’re like an MP3 player!’ Hahaha! Tapos nung nakita niya ako nung same time nay un na nagbubukas ng de lata gamit kutsilyo kasi ala kami can opener, ‘You’re not just an MP3 player, you’re a can opener too!’ Hahaha! Ang lupet! Sabi nung isa kong friend dito na ADS next time daw na may magcomment na para akong MP3 player sabihin ko daw, di lang basta MP3 player, 3 GB pa. Hahaha! Naku, na realise ko pag na stress ka na, magagawa mo hindi mo mga inaakalang bagay.

Like dito sa house namin, napagbuntunan ko landlord namin. Nagkaleak kasi sa CR at nababasa na sahig. Di naming pinansin hanggang nakakainis na talaga at napagod na ako sa kamamop. Inemail ko landlord. ‘Could you please fix the leak in our toilet?..’. The next day punta siya naayos. Then nakakita ako ng daga sa room ko. Malaki.Muntik na akong mapasigaw. Email ulit ako: “I can assure you I cleam my room regularly... (hulihin ninyo ang daga). And please adjust my door. I noticed that it’s a bit elevated from the floor.’ (siguro sabi ng landlady ko: Ito na ang pinakamaarteng tenant ko!). Hahaha! Tapos naglagay ako ng mga libro sa may pinto para di na talaga makakapasok ang mga daga.

At siyempre pa dumating ang time na lalaban ako sa padumihan ng room. Para kasing pag inayos mo siya malilito na ako. Hahaha! Tapos pag mag uumpisa na ako magsulat, maglilinis naman muna ako. At mga isang oras na linisan yun. Di ako makapagumpisa pag feeling ko may alikabok pa (OA). Hahahaha! Basta dapat makintab na sahig ng room ko at ang table ko kulay puti na ulit, yung di na ulit pwedeng sulatan ng pangalan dahil sa alikabok. Ang saya din ng balik buhay estudyante. Ang target ko makasali sa Australia’s Got Talent pero tapos na ata. Na inspire ako ni Jal Joshua na taga Cebu na first-runner up last year. I believe kaya kong manalo dun. Hahaha! Yabangan na to kaya dito ko na tatapusin.

My writing process

This is probably the busiest time of the semester, and this will continue in the next few weeks. Endless readings, group meetings (with some minor fights on the side), this isn’t the best time to blog. But then again, I need a break. May I share with you some of my learning (coping) habits.

I have quite a few assessment papers due in the coming weeks. Pag magsusulat na ako, kailangan ko munang uminom ng coffee, tea (or me), or kahit na anong mainit. Dapat na mag init muna bago ako makapagsulat. Kapag kailangang mag argue ng malupet sa essay dapat kape para mejo highblood ako at ang pintas gene ko ay fully activated.

Siyempre bago ka makapagsulat ng essay kailangan mo munang mag literature review. E ang mga binabasa ko, mejo may kahirapan. So kailangan ko silang i digest. Then I realised ang average ko 2-3 articles per day. Reading lang yun. Habang nagbabasa, kukunot noo ko, magcocomment sa papel pag may disagreement o kakausapin ang papel. Hahah! First reading yun. Usually di ko pa siya maiintindihan so basa ulit. This time iba naman na posisyon. Hihiga na ako. Labas ang kulambo para makapag isip ng maayos. Pag di pa effective, read aloud. Then marerealise ko na mas concern na ako sa pagpronounce ko kesa sa pag intindi ng binabasa kaya silent reading ulit with understanding. Hahaha! Then mastress na ako kaya kakanta na ako. Papatugtugin ko na si Sitti (ang singer na inaantok na pinakanta). Then, makakatulog na ako.

After literature review, kailangan ko silang i group. Aling mga articles ang magkakatulad? Saan ako mag gu grouping? sa excel na lang para matrix agad, malinaw. Yun. Pag na group ko na, outline na. Pag may outline na, sulat na.

Pag mag-uumpisa na ako magsulat kailang may katabi muna akong isang baso ng tubig. Tungga. One paragraph. Tungga ulit. Three sentences, tungga ulit. Tapos bigla kong bibilisan, galit galit muna kahit may text, may chat sa FB! Galit galit muna. Then slow down ulit. Mapapansin ko na may dumi ang laftaf ko, lilinisin ko. Then mapapansin ko, yung keyboard ko may alikabok, hihipan ko. Ay ang desk ko maalikabok, pupunasan ko. Naku, yung lalabhan ko dumadami na. Then tayo, lalagay ang labada sa washing machine. On my way to the laundry area, mapapansin ko na mejo makalat na sa sala. Hmmm, di na naman sila naglinis. So magwawalis ako. Ayan, malinis na ulit. Jaime yung upuan nakatabingi, aayusin ko. Then mapapansin ko mga tsinelas at sapatos di nakaayos, papantayin ko sila. “Bakit ba kasi iba-iba size ng paa ang hirap tuloy pagpantay-pantayin.” Then, madumi na CR, kuskos, kuskos! Ayan, puti pala yung dingding! Hahaha!

Then maliligo kasi madumi na. Rest a bit then back to writing. Saang paragraph na ba ako? Ah, onti na lang to. Papaspasan. Galit galit uli. Matatapos ang first draft. Close ang word file. Then FB time. The next day, aayusin ang references. Kakarerin ang mga punctuations (pag natutunan ko yung software for referencing yari na to), aayusin ang text. Mag spell check. Leave for an hour or more. Then edit. Matang agila, ilabas na! Sana wala mag ingay kung hindi magkakaron ako ng kaaway. Then matatapos. Print, read aloud for readability check. Check sentence fragments. Voila! Submit.

Si Sheryn, Ninna at ang bago kong printer

Pagkatapos ng IAP biglang nag-iba ang mundo ko. Dati rati, araw-araw ka may ka meet na mga classmates. Ngayon, mag isa na lang ako. Ang hirap na nilang hagilapin, malungkot tuloy. At dahil nakaonline naman lahat, pwede ngang hindi pumasok. One time inemail ko teacher ko nung excuse letter for the conference di siya nagreply.

Tapos nung nagmeet kami sa class, may announcement siya said in a very warm tone: This is postgrad, it doesn’t matter if you show up in class or not. For as long as you pass the requirements, it’s fine. Nyay, hagip ako. Nagiging polite lang naman ako ah. Anyway, si Gwyneth yun.

Nakakatuwa dito kasi ang dami-dami ko ng readings. Ang technique ko: buhay ang text. Interact with it. Kaya ang mga piniprint ko na readings duguan. Mega react ako sa mga claims. Kung nakakapagsalita lang ang papel sasabihin niya: wag namang masyadong diinan ang pagsulat kasi masakit, at pakigandahan ang sulat, tingnan mo dumi-dumi ko na. Hahahhaha!

Bago ako umalis ng Pilipinas, priority ko talaga yung music sa laptop ko. Nung binili ko siya may mga nilagay na music yung mama natuwa naman ako. Magaganda yung tugtog. So nung nag-aaral ako one time, nagpatugtog ako. Maganda umpisa. Soothing. Nag umpisa na si Sheryn Regis. Tapos yung binabasa ko development planning na may mga kung anu anong issues, pero napapangiti ako. Pero basa lang ako. ‘Development planners blah blah...” tapos bibirit na din si Sheryn. Naiimagine ko siya sa ASAP, the jukebox princess. Mabuti na lang mataas talaga boses niya, ang taas.

Kagabi naman si Ninna. Binabasa ko about sa mga problema ng partnership ng world bank at mga NGOs. Background ko, “If I should love again”. Naiiyak naman ako. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa sinasapit ng mga NGOs sa pakikipagcollaborate sa WB or dahil kay Ninna. At ayun, bumirit na si Ninna habang ako naman ay napahawak ng mahigpit sa mesa at mas lumapit sa laptop. Grabe apektado ng emosyon ng kanta ang pagbabasa ko. Tapos parang yung nasa isip ko na, may iniwan??? Wala naman. Asan siya sa binabasa ko? Hindi, mali yung kay Ninna ang may iniwan. Whew! Haahhaha!

By the way, new acquisition (parang library), meron na akong bagong printer kasi ang hirap magbasa mula sa laptop nakakasira ng mata. Yihee!!! And take note napagana ko printer ko mag-isa. As in dinibdib ko ang pagbabasa ng manual. Dito daw to, ipasok ang cartridge. Ayan, pasok! Then hinga ako. Anon a? I-on daw ang printer. Hinga. Iinstall ang printer. Hinga ng napakalalim. Asan ang CD??? Asan??? Ay heto. Install, basta yes lang ng yes, pag na no ka di naman matutuloy pag install. Pwede ng mag try magprint. Naku sana OK to. Bat may pawis ako e malamig naman??HAhhaha! ayan, nag print! Palakpak!!! Kung nakikita lang ako ng mga housemates ko baka natakot na sila sakin. Hahhaha!

Have a good day!

An Open TY Letter

To HASS Community:

Peace in Christ!

Thank you very much for giving me a chance to be part of the recently concluded Live-In Vocation Discernment Seminar last weekend.

It was a wisdom-filled, enriching and unforgettable experience for me.

I never felt that ‘welcome’ since I decided not to join the La Salle brothers’ postulancy program last 2006. As I implicitly said on my personal testimony on the last part of the program – the 3-day experience brought me back to the day I made a pact with the Lord that I will serve Him for the rest of my life.

As I am deeply moved by the experience, let me share with you my reflections as my way of saying ‘thank you’

As emphasized on the CASA talk by Father Dave, the desire to serve the Lord is not enough as a ground to enter the seminary and be one of the “priests-in-process”. I may agree with it, there should be the total surrender and the inner desire of serving because of the Love he gave us. Love that may come in different forms and cannot be measured by sight but by another heart formed in the likeness of God – full of love, compassion and mercy.

I learned a lot from this weekend activity and I am happy that as I head back home, I am challenged to go through the Paschal mystery of daily lives as presented by Father John. It is not enough that I experienced passion and resurrection, death is given emphasized as well. It is so timely that this activity falls on a Lenten season, that as I reflected deeper, this reminds me of the central theme of the Lenten season -- being with Christ in His sufferings, His death, and His resurrection. It is through death, self-mortification and dying of oneself, that a person may be compared to an ash that brings forth a new life.

Another lesson I imbibed is to have a life that is centered on Christ alone – there I learned how to be less of me and how to be more of Christ – an ‘alter Christus’.

I am very nervous by then when I was asked to speak on stage. I invoked the Holy Spirit to guide me because I really don’t know what to say. I even blurted-out, that I felt like humiliated, though what I meant was I really felt humbled. (A slip of a tongue but may still have meaning. I just laughed when I recalled these words – very humiliating..i mean..very humbling) Indeed the vocation program was a big humbling experience, an awakening that brought about a deeper sense of spiritual renewal and re-commitment to live with and in Christ alone.

I told myself, while at the duration of the seminar, that regardless of the decision of the resident priest formators, as lead by Father Rector, I would humbly accept it; for the 3-day live-in program itself strengthened my relationship with the Lord. Though I also learned that it is not enough that I knew Him, it is not enough that I follow His precepts, it is not enough that I study His decrees; it is not enough that I express my love of neighbors. But it is by standing boldly in front of the public, bearing the image of Christ and proclaiming the Gospel – which I believe was something observed that needs to be developed in me if I wanted to give my life fully for His own cause and will.

I am not yet as clear as the glass in the flash light that could reflect Christ to the community for I appear to be so full of myself. But as I reflect on the bright full moon hovering over the fields last night, I asked myself: would it also be okay to compare a priest to a moon, that despite its craters of different diameters and of its other flaws, it remains to reflect a bright and shining light to the people in the darkest hour of the night. And that brightness and the light that it could give can at times only be noticed when, man-made source of light and of power --the electricity, fails us? And for all we know we are wanting to see a light, perfect in its circular form but perhaps it is not yet full moon, when we have a glanced of it, and all the while the moon stood as round as it is with all its imperfections but it continually gives light not on the fullest form that we wanted to see but maybe it is still on its waxing phase?

I admit that I really felt bad upon receiving the note that I did not make it. It even adds-up to my affirmation about God that He is indeed humorous. He allowed me to receive a message that I passed and I qualified to take the exam this coming Sunday (March 7) because He knew that I prayed to received that message but I think I missed something on my prayer. I should have stated on my prayer that I will receive the congratulatory message and it is for real and not just wrongly send.

This at first hand was indeed as I tagged it was a ‘sweet rejection’ for as a whole, this experience, brings me back to my old senses, to my old commitment with Him yet at the same time as I actually feel it – it gives a sudden kick of sadness, of grieving and of death. I feel sorry and mournful for the day I refused to enter into formation four years ago. For the fact that behind my statement that I wanted to augment our family income that time, I am still afraid to face myself, I am afraid to undergo psychological testing for it may expose things that I am afraid of, things that I don’t want to face. But here I am now, laying down my cards, fully ready to whatever the results may provide, has been denied to continue on with what I initially thought was already the will of God.

Indeed, the message indicated that I am not qualified to go for the next step and I need to submit to it for HASS knew well what’s best for me; for they are the anointed ones to gather the called and selected few. HASS as I learned about since 2001 may not only be the place where I thought my seed of vocation will be properly nourished and sustained for its growth. For my role is limited to keep my seed of vocation safe and select the place where it will eventually grow and mature for I can’t predict what tree it will become and what capacity of fruits it can produce. My sense of being in the case of a seed would only last before it breaks, after it broken fully it will give life for a newer me, something I don’t know yet but only God and those, who manages the house for the seeds of vocation, knew.

And I will leave it at that, it is not really my will that will be followed, it is still the will of God that will always prevail.

As I would like to emphasize, thank you for giving me a chance to reach the application process this far, it is an experience that is really worth remembering. And on a personal note, HASS achieved the goal of making the live-in vocation discernment seminar experience more than just the ordinary experience of being with the seminarians, priests and other affiliates and got the sense of living inside the vicinity of the seminary. It is also an experience that enriches oneself as an individual who continually seeks for the Lord and His will at all times – and it has been true for me.

At a lighter note, given the chance that I will be accepted for a live-in seminar, I would pray all the more, I would not just pray that I will receive a congratulatory note but I will also pray harder that I will go straight right into the finish line not because it is my own heart’s desire but the desire of God who resides in my heart. And I would like to look forward for the day that I would thank again HASS for their wisdom that brought me to the place where I truly belong.

May Mary, Seat of wisdom, continue to bless and guide you all the more as inspired St. John Marie Vianney’s search for deeper understanding of going beyond intellectual emptiness with St. Paul, who seen Christ--- source of true light, later than all the disciples and St. Francis, who learned lessons from his brother moon and friends from seeds and trees, all the time.

God bless you always!

Committed to bear Christ,


Christopher Castillo

Nga naman

Hi guys! Nagumpisa na ang klase dito sa UQ, at nagulat talaga ako. I never knew it can be so crowded here. Anyway, may mga hindi ako nakuwento.

Yung Thai na kaklase ko sa Introductory course naming dito for AusAid scholars nagsabi ng matagal na niyang kinikimkim nung nagkaroon kami ng socials. Kahalubilo namin mga girls and some guys din from other countries.

Thai: You are very lucky you are not in the same course with Jaime.

Me and everybody else:????

Thai: because he will dominate you. (sabay ngiti).

Ako naman, parang hmmm, ganun??? Hahahha!

Tapos nung session namin with our Ausaid coordinators. Nasa isang malaking lecture hall kami mga 100 kami lahat nun na AusAid scholars.

Coordinator: If you want to use your enrichment allowance, please put in your request editing not proofreading. I don’t really know the difference, but put editing not proofreading.

Me: I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE (HAHAHAHAHA)

Coordinator: (Titingnan muna ako) You do.

Me: Yup. Editing, it has two levels: mechanical and substantial editing. Blah blah....

Crowd: (Tawa) Hahahha!

Parang, the epal from the Philippines strikes again.

Masayang orientation

Natuwa lang ako nung orientation namin, meron kasing mapa ng mundo tapos pinopoint yung mga bansa na pinanggalingan ng mga estudyante. Mula A hanggang Z yun. Nung umpisa, tig 3, madami na sampu. Pagdating China, 730! Susme. At karamihan sa kanila, paying ha, no scholarship. Yung isa kong friend na Chinese, andito lang daw siya kasi bored siya, hindi niya alam ang direksiyon ng buhay niya sa ngayon. Kaya aral na lang daw siya. Kasi wala daw nasasayang na oras sa pag-aaral. May point din naman siya. Pero ang dami talaga nila. Hahaha!

Anyway, ang cool nung orientation, halos lahat ng bansa sa mundo andito na sa UQ. Nung tinawag yung America, ang yayabang ng mga kano parang may balak na manakop ulit. Hahaha! Nung tinawag yung Spain, sabi ko, subukan niyo ulit kaming sakupin. Hahaha! Yung Japan din, sabi ko, isa ka pa! Nung tinawag yung Botswana, naalala ko si Miriam Quiambao, di ba nakatalo sa kanya taga Botswana? OK lang onti lang sila dito. At siyempre nung tinawag ang Philippines, tayo ako ng matuwid. Ang saya saya!!!! Eleven pala kami na pinoy dito. Yung mga nawawalang mayayaman sa Pilipinas, andito lang katext ko na sila. Yung isa taga Belair sa Sta. Rosa. Nung una sabi niya sa Sta. Rosa siya. Tuwa pa naman ako at proud na sabihin na neighbour lang kami dahil may bahay si kuya sa Cabuyao. Belair pala siya. Naku, nagmukhang squatter subdivision ng kuya ko. Hahahah!

Show me an ID please

Best friend, atin 'to!

Pasensiya na sa pansamantala kong katahimikan. Kinakailangan kasing gamitan ng kaunting isip ang nakaraang mga araw. Kababalik lang ng written assignment namin at ngayon naman ay naghahanda ako sa oral presentation namin. Siyempre pa kinarir ko ang powerpoint. Para na namang piyesta. Pwede kayo magcolors check, unti lang ang wala. Hahaaha!

Anyway, nakita ko na ang isang Pinoy na Pinoy na tindahan dito sa Brisbane, ang BestFriends. Mga Bisaya ang may-ari. Natutuwa ako dahil nagtatagalog talaga mga tao pati sa mga customers. First time kong nakapagtanong ng “magkano to? Pwede bang tingi?” Hahaha! At higit sa lahat, gusto ko sanang pakyawin ang Lety’s Buko Pie! Sa elbi favorite namin yun. Tapos nakakita ako ng mga Nova, Stik-O, naalala ko sari-sari store ni mama.

Sa Bestfriend din lang, habang namimili ako naappreciate ko si mahal. Yung tugtog kasi “Aga, Aga I love ka you, Piolo, Piolo, I like you. Jimboy, Jimboy, I hate you... e kasi naman niyoyoko mo ako.” Hahahha! Grabe tumatawa ako mag-isa habang namimili. Tapos kanta pa si Willy, “Ikaw na nga,ang hinahanap ng puso...” Susme, pinapatay ko radyo sa Pilipinas pag nadidinig ko yun, dito parang gusto kong i replay.

Tapos naexcite ako bigla, tanong ako. Meron ba kayong Bench Eight? Paubos na kasi pabango ko. Tapos sabi nung mama, wala e. Pinakita sakin yung mga Bench products na available. Yung kay Regine at Dingdong Dantes lang ang available. “Ito na lang “Desired””. Sabi ko, magkano ba yan? Tapos mejo mahal siya. “Kasi gamit daw ni Dingdong Dantes yan”. Hahahaha! Tawa talaga ako ng malakas. Parang sa Pinas lang talaga: Bili ka na, dahil gamit ito ni mega! Hahaha! Parang bigla ay gusto kong hanapin, anjan ba yung gamit naman ni Richard Gomez? Ni Aga?

Bored people

Kahapon lumabas ako kasama ng mga Indochina friends ko. Di ko naman alam kung saan kami pupunta sama lang ako kasi ang boring naman sa bahay. Yun pumunta kami sa Dreamworld, parang Enchanted Kingdom natin jan sa Pilipinas. Susme, di ko na ulit gagawin yun.

Una,praktis. Masaya pa yung sasakay ka lang sa bangka, tapos paikot sa isang river, mababasa ka unti. Masaya pa.

Pangalawa, motocoaster. Sasakay ka sa parang motor mga more than 10 kayo sa isang larga. Aarangkada ng napakabilis na walang consepto ng inertia pag nag umpisa ng tumakbo. Angbilis bilis na paikot ikot na kukurbada na para kang titilapon, normal ulit na position, tatagilid, sudden drop, at para kang babangga sa mga poste na nakapalibot sainyo. Mga ganun kayo ng isang minuto.

Pangatlo, Tower of terror. Mga 139 meters na tower, mga 39 floors daw kataas na building, aakyatin niyo mga 12 kayo lahat. Nakaupo kayo, at pag pinindot na go, good luck talaga. Yun daw ang isa sa pinakamabilis na rides sa buong mundo. Hindi pa nakuntento, pag dating ninyo sa taas, titigil kayo ng mga five seconds na parang nakasuwi kayo, tapos aatras ng napakabilis. Ang sigaw ko mula Pasig hanggang QC, wala man lang sumaklolo. Tapos na ride sigaw pa din ako ng sigaw.

Pangapat, The Claw. Dito na ako bumigay. Naiyak na ako halos sa takot. Sakay kayo sa parang malaking swing na pabilog mga 30 ata lahat basta nakapalibot kayo. Tapos i swi swing kayo ng pabilis ng pabilis habang paikot-ikot kayo. Yung unang pasada ang sarap sa pakiramdam. Pero matatakot ka talaga kasi biglang bumibilis tapos yung babae na parang nag mamanage ng ride magsasalita: You cant go away! Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck there. Tapos yun umpisa na ng ugaan, swing, taas sa kanan, swing paitaas sa kaliwa, iikot sa ere and walang anu-anong swing pabalik sa kanan sa mas mataas pa na level, diretso swing pakaliwa sa mataas na level pa. Grabe dumating ako sa point na sumawa na ako sa kasisigaw. Tapos pag dumilat ka, bigla mo makikita ang taas mo, parang ang liit lang nung pinanggalingan mo. Nung kinampay ko yung paa at kamay ko, nagkakatamaan na kami nung katabi ko. Waaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sigaw talaga ako ng sigaw. Tapos nung tapos na, bigla akong napatahimik. Natakot yung mga friends ko. “Jaime are you OK?” di ako nagsasalita mga 5 seconds,dilat lang mata, naluluha. “Yes, im OK. I’m always OK.” Tapos nung bumaba na kami. Sabi nung babae na nagsalita nung umpisa, “sorry to have scared you.” Sabay ngiti pa. Gusto kong sagutin ng “neknek mo!” Hahaha! Matapos mo akong hiluhin sa taas sorry sorry ka jan.
Meron pang mga remaining rides na di ko na tinry, yung giant drop kasi may vertigo ako, di daw pwede pag meron nun. Anyway, aakyat kayo sa kabilang side nung Tower of terror ng dahan-dahan. Tapos stay kayo sa pinakataas ng mga isang minuto tapos bigla kayong ibababa actually ibabagsak. 139 meters! Hahaha!

Yung mga adik kong friends, nag roller coaster pa at yung sinusuwi-suwi na iniikot-ikot sa ere. Di na ako sumama. Nung magkakasama na kami. Comment ako, i think Australians are bored people. Kasi tuwang-tuwa sila sa mga ganun. Susme, makalaglag panga (although exercise sa lungs), parang hihiwalay leeg mo, mababali likod mo, whatever. That wasn’t my idea of having fun. Sino ba kasi nagsabi na sumama ako dun? Hahah! Masaya lang kasi talagang kasama yung mga Indochina friends ko, ambabait pa. Anyway, I won’t recommend Dreamworld. It’s more of a nightmare than a dream. Hahaha! For me, I don’t need to do that. I am happy with my life. Those rides are for bored people.

Valentine's Day.

Random bloopers

Concept mapping queen

Our lovely learning adviser, after discussing her lesson on concept mapping: If you have any concerns with concept mapping, please do approach me because I am the concept mapping queen! (I told you this is the university of the queens)

One time she forgot something so she needed to go back to her room:
Teacher: I shall return.

Me: Mac Arthur!

Class: Wala lang (di nila alam ang significant na event na yun sa Pilipinas, busy sila. Parang gusto ko silang dalhin lahat sa Leyte at ipakita si Mac Arthur)

One time she was reminding us of our written assignment due two weeks later.: Please work on your written assignment so you have enough time. But if you dont feel the sense of urgency. Relax! I dont care for as long as you give that to me on that day. (Hahaha! Cool!)
Speak up

Example of a good speaker, Barack Obama on Youtube. The rest of the class pointed out the strengths: good voice, he’s got charisma, whateva, while I wanted to stand up and say, gosh, he moves a lot, he’s got mannerisms, look he kept on biting his lips, and i’m sure there’s a teleprompter somewhere. Siyempre di ko sinabi yun. E di kinuyog ako ng mga classmates ko from Africa. Ang lalaki pa naman nila.

After our speaking test, the girl from Pakistan stood up and showed that we should not put our hands on our pocket. Ang taas ng confidence level niya at ang lakas din ng boses, praktisado parang official ata yun sa ROTC nung araw. After that, yung katabi niyang taga Malawi na akala niya ay friend niya na, nagtanong: “Where then do we put our hands?” Sabay ngisi. Ahahaha!

Slip off

Jaime with his friends from Indochina and Mongolia: Guys, tara na kain na tayo. Marami na namang tao sa microwave area.
Friends: (Wala lang, di kumibo.)
Jaime: (Sorry naman gutom na ako.) Guys, let’s eat. I surmise we’re all hungry.
Friends: (Ngiti and tayo na. )

Magandang araw

Ewan ko ba kung bakit alas singko pa lang e dilat na dilat na ako. Ang araw naman kasi dito parang hindi naman lumulubog. Forever na nakangiti. Kaya pag gabi na, iniisip ko na lang parang siesta lang to, matutulog ako kahit tirik ang araw. Kaya ngayon heto ako harap ng laptop at nakikinig sa inemail ng classmate ko na mp3 na isang song na Chinese. Isang kanta daw to about nostalgia... “wang che tso, wang tse tso... wang tse tso...”

Anyway, naiisip ko lang ang mga usapin na tayo daw mga Pinoy ay wala namang siginificant na contribution sa mundo, mga katulong, OFW, whateva.

Sa pagiging katulong, ano namang masama dun, mabuti nga may work. Hindi katulad ng mga tao sa ibang bansa na tumatambay lang, at naghihintay ng unemployment benefits. At least tayo, best in mopping. Nagpapakahirap, pinaghihirapan ang pera natin.

Isa pa, although chinallenge ko na nung isang araw si Si Mr. Mill, isipin niyo na lang, kung walang mga katulong, ewan ko lang kung makapagtrabaho ang mga businessmen na yan, mga scientists. Malamang di naimbento ngayon ang mga makabagong teknolohiya at malamang malala na ang mga traffic sa lansangan dahil sa mga batang napabayaan, kasi walang nagbabantay. Baka magulat na lang sila may batang ginawang playground ang EDSA. O di ba?

Ang mga masisipag nating katulong ay binibigyan ng pagkakataong makapag-isip ang mga taong ito. Ang mga katulong natin ay mas malalim ang pinaghuhugutan ng pagkatao dahil marunong silang magmahal. Ito ay isang katangian na mahirap makalimutan. Mas malalim ito sa pera, sa material na bagay. Ang mga katulong natin ay marunong magpahalaga sa buhay. Kung minsan nga, napapangiti ako pag naiisip ko, ano nga ba ang comparative advantage natin sa isang globalised na mundo? Pagmamahal. Anong henyong bansa sa mundo ang nakaisip niyan? Anong bansa sa mundo ang nakaisip na ialay ang pagmamahal niya sa iba?

Iniisip ko pa, sige nga, kung wala ang mga Pinoy, ewan ko lang kung tumakbo yang mga tsikot nila. Sa Pilipinas kaya ginagawa yang mga loob-looban niyan. Sa bansa nila yung pagpapaganda na lang ng pintura, what a simple job! Sa atin ang mahirap, because our brains have the capacity to do that. Echos! OK sila naman ang umembento. Dont get me started on that.

At isa pa, kung walang mga noypi, ang lungkot siguro ng mundo. Saang bansa ka nakakitang ginawang kanta ang H1N1? “ AH1N1 aking kaarawan...” Hahhaha!. Saang bansa ka nakakita na bumubungisngis pa e inanod na bahay? Napanood ko to sa Raed K, sabi nung isang analyst, “Ang Pinoy ay kayang ngumiti sa gitna ng mga hirap ng buhay dahil punung-puno siya ng pag-asa.”

Sa ngayon ang iniisip ko lang, ay hindi na siguro dapat pinag-uusapan ang ganung mga bagay (bansa ng mga katulong, seaman, at kung anu-ano pa). At bakit ba kasi ito topic ko, wala namang nagsabi sa akin na magsulat ako nito? Hahaha!

Ang mahalaga ay alam natin ang ginagawa natin sa ating mga buhay. Iniisip ko nga, ang mahalaga lang naman ay pahalagahan natin ang mundo, di lang ang Pilipinas, ang mundo, dahil tayo’y mga Citizen of the World.

From sunscreen lotion to Cariñosa

Hi Guys! I discovered something. A few weeks ago I bought sunscreen lotion, protection sa sun (hahaha! Malamang). Tapos ngayong umaga ko lang siya ginamit kasi paubos na yung lotion ko galing Pilipinas (lupet nung block and white nakarating ng Australia). Man, ang lagkit niya. Para kang humahaplos ng Elmer’s glue sa balat. Buti na lang hindi nagdikit yung kaliwang kamay ko sa kanan kong braso. Pero OK na din saka waterproof, o di ba? At ang pagbili daw ay nakakatulong sa pagpondo sa skin cancer research.

Last week, bago pa man mag umpisa ang klase namin, habang naghihintay sa mga late, nagpagames ang lecturer namin. Parang word twist ang concept. She wrote a word on our whiteboard then we should guess the words being described. Heto na, sulat siya DORMITORY, guess the two words they start with d and r. Clue, cleanliness or lack of it. Wala pang 10 seconds may sagot na ako (sorry ha mejo mayabang, hahaha), “DIRTY ROOM!” Tapos sabi niya, “ah you’re so cleva” Ako naman na delay ng 3 seconds sa slang niya. After three seconds, palakpak ako. A, clever ang ibig niyang sabihin. Hahaha!!!!

Sa bahay ko, apat na kami. 3 silang Chinese. One time nagdala ng friend niyang Chinese yung isa kong housemate. Feeling ko talaga aping api ako. Nag intsik sila lahat, di ko sila maintindihan. Yun ang ginawa ko dinaan daanan ko sila sa living room namin. Para talaga akong illiterate na di makaintindi. Parang yung sa Mila. Hahaha!

Yung sa concert pala namin ang gaganda ng mga presentations ng bawat bansa. Lalo na yung mga bansa sa Africa, upbeat yung tugtog at maganda talaga. Tapos halos lahat ng presenters, mejo wala ang theme as in parang ati-atihan ang level ng sayaw at kanta. Kami naman, parang mga aristocrata, nag carinosa, aba sushal yun. Kami lang ang naka baro’t saya. Sabi nila, that was lovely! Beautiful, elegant! Yihee!!! Pero guys, ang sarap panoorin ng iba’t ibang kultura. Nakakataba ng puso.

From a Long Pause

I need a hug

I missed writing in this blog.

I missed the comfort that this site gives.

I missed it badly

I missed me.

I hate it when people say that I am so full of me

But it’s the truth that only a few friends can see

I remember those days that you just stand by me

Chatting under the rain, painting my face with glee

I hate it when people say that I am so lost

But it’s their way of saying “we love you most”

I remember those days that you seat by me

Dreaming under the skies, sharing friendship as a key

I missed not just me

I missed them incessantly

I missed the angels who stood by me

I missed writing here.

Can you hug me?

A postcard to heaven (part 2)

You taught me about love. We talked, we laughed. I cried, you gave me a hug. I lashed out, and you stayed patient. I was down in the dumps, and you lifted me up. You taught me how to love.

We used to exchange letters during the Christmas break. Sometimes, I re-read some of them. Remember when you tried to teach me how to write in Chinese? Instead, I wrote love letters and poetry - which irritated and amused you at the same time.

I remember the smell of your hands - like flowers mixed with watermelons.

Remember when we took a ride on a train track? We were laughing so hard. And then we went to an Italian cafe to grab pasta and then we would talk, talk, talk for long hours. You constantly encouraged me, when I found no reason to believe in myself. I trusted you with all of me.

Everything came crashing down on me as I walked slowly towards you. You looked different. Your sister laid a hand on my shoulder as I walked, trembling. For one single, delirious moment I thought she was you. I didn't want to believe that you were gone.

They say that the old gives way to the new. You said you were prepared to die.

I wasn't ready to let you go.

to be continued

Si John Stuart Mill at ang mop

Matapos ang isang linggo ng ka coñohan ko, na magsisimula na naman bukas, nakakatuwa at magtatagalog na naman ako ng bonggangbonnga.

Kahapon ay nagkatulong mode ako. Mejo madumi na kasi ang bahay so nagkaroon ako ng mahabang pagdedesisyon: maglilinis ako. Hehehe.

Yun, mejo malaki kasi yung house. Nag walis ako, yung walis namin, yung plastic, kailangan ko maghanap ng walis tambo kasi di naman siya nakakalinis at ang sakit sa braso. Tapos nag mop ako. Grabe tagaktak pawis ko. Habang nag ma mop ako, naalala ko si John Stuart Mill (hahaha! Pakaintelektuwal pa o, nag ma mop na nga lang). Sabi kasi ng mamang yun, may mga tao daw na magagaling kasi may mga tao na nanumpang gawing ang ilang bagay para sa mga tao na iyon. Tulad ng mga katulong. Sabi ni Manong Mill, hindi naman daw magiging napakagaling na maga scientists ang ang mga henyong yun kung magluluto pa sila, maglalaba ng damit, at mag ma mop.

Gusto kong i challenge yun. Kasi pag nag abroad ka, ikaw gagawa ng lahat. Ikaw na ang magpapapkahenyo, ikaw pa ang mag ma mop. Ikaw pa ang magluluto, maglalaba, etc. Sa kabila ng mga requirements mo sa acads tulad ng sang katerbang babasahin, expected ka pa na gawin ang mga gawaing bahay. Hahaha! Malamang di na nga totoo yung sinabi na yun ni Mill.

Anyway, balik tayo sa paglilinis. Grabe napagod talaga ako. Tapos, naisip ko bigla si Cedie, yung munting prinsipe, pero nung naging mahirap siya, nung pinag mop siya sa Palasyo. Tapos nung tapos na ako, di ko na talaga kinaya naitpon ko talaga yung mop. Tapos, nagalit ata, rumesbak, tinamaan ako nung handle sa mukha. Mabuti na lang di malakas. Napasigaw ako, wala man lang tumulong. Narealize ko mag-isa pala ako.

Tapos yun, after ko maging katulong, naging iskolar na ulit ako. Nagsulat na ako ng writing assignment namin. Parang ang bilis ng shift, natawa din ako. Kanina lang ang kapiling ko ay mop, ngayon naman ay ang maganda kong laptop.

Sige.

Talk to the machines (sa bansang di pindot )

Washing machine

At heto na nga, maglalaba na ako. Ang unang paglalaba ko sa Australia sa sosyal kong tirahan sa St. Leo’s.

J: (Asan kaya dito ang laundry area. Wala naman ako nakikitang nagkukusot. Wala namang sampayan. Shocks, pano na, paubos na damit ko. Ayoko mag side B. Tanong ako sa reception area. ) Good day. How are you? Would you know where the laundry area is?
R: Yes. It’s there. But you need a token before you could use that.
J: How much would that cost?
R: 1 dollar.
J:Alright. (Grabe naman makikilaba na nga lang may token token pa. Whew!)
Tapos nung nakita ko na yung washing machine, na shock ako. High tech. Hindi ito tulad nung sa amin. Ma, help! Pano na? Kinalma ko sarili ko at nagmasid-masid. Magbasa. Basa naman ako. At nabasa ko na halos lahat ng nakasulat sa machine di pa din ako maalam. Pati yung Español na counterpart. Hahaha! Pero nakuha ko din. Kinapa ko lang ng kinapa. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, pag may pwede pindutin, pindot agad. Hahahaha! Yun amoy downy naman damit ko pagkatapos. But then again, nothing beats Manang Aunor (yung sikat na manlalaba namin sa dorm sa PhilRice).

Mga pintong bumubukas magisa

Yung mga pinto din dito automatic doors karamihan. Hahahah! Nung una ko dito nun, kinabahan ako, mamaya na ako papasok marami pa tao baka di bumukas mapahiya pa ako. Hahaha! Nung umalis yung malapit sa pinto, pasok naman ako, kulang na lang sabihan ko pinto, wag mo ako ipapahiya. Bumukas ka, bumukas ka! Ayun bumukas. Magmula nun, confident na ako dumaan daan dun. Hahahaha! Basta technique lang e, wag ka lang papahalata at parating mukhang sophisticated. Hahahaha! I have yet to learn that.

Bus na maganda

At ang bus. Ang pinakapanalo. Ang mga driver na pareho lang ang takbo sa kurbada at sa normal na daan. Pag lumiliko talaga, kulang na lang e, sitahin ko na. Kung nasa Pilipinas lang ako sasabihan ko na, naimbento na po ang pagmemenor. Hahaha! Yun, para magbayad, kailangan ng go card na tinatapat-tapat lang. Nung una siyang initroduce sa akin, natuwa ako dahil yun pa lang by that time ang familiar ako. Sabi ko pa sa nagbebenta. No worries. I know how to use that. We have that in the Philippines. (Ang concept niya kasi parang MRT lang naman). Oh well, at least nakakapagbiyahe na ako now na di ko kailangang mag hand sanitizer sa dumi ng kamay ko kaaabot ng sukli sa jeep. Hahaha! At ang pinakawinner, isang tiket lang bibilhin mo, valid na sa isang buong araw kahit ilang beses ka sumakay basta sa same zone ka lang punta. Nung nalaman ko yun, naka apat ata ako sakay sa bus nung araw na yun. Ginawa ko talagang private service yung bus. Heheheheh.

Microwave ovens

Dito pala sa amin ay merong microwave oven area. Dito pumupunta ang mga “officially impoverished AusAid scholars” para magpainit ng kanilang mga baon. Yes, kasama ako dun. Natuto na akong magluto. Yung patsamba tsamba ko ay masarap din naman. At partida yun dahil manual kong tinimpla yun, walang tulong ng Ginisa flavour mix. Natuwa lang talaga ako dahil yung area na yun, napupuno siya ng mga AusAid studes lahat. Magkakaramay. Cool na cool magbaon dito.

Wildlife and the not so wildlife

Pagdating na pagdating ko dito sa Australia, tuwang-tuwa talaga ako kasi ang linis-linis ng paligid. Mahihiya ka talagang magtapon ng kahit na candy wrapper man lang. Kaya I was so amazed and amused ng makakita ako ng lamok

J: wow! Australian mosquito!

At langaw

J: (San ka nanggaling? Sumama ka sa maleta ko? Well, sabi nga langaw man daw ay may ambisyon din. I concede.) Australian fly!

Sa class namin ni kuya benjie once ay pinakitaan kami ng mga picture ng animals na makikita sa Australia. Possum! Wallaby! Koala! Kangaroo!

Whoa, sa dami ng mga pinakita koala at kangaroo lang ata ang alam ko. Kaya amazed na amazed ako. Kaya sa bawat picture, sabi ko, asteg, lupet, sushal! Nagtataka naman ako bakit wala ata reaction ang mga katabi ko sa akin. Then i realized nagtatagalog pala ako. Hahahaha! OK, react again in English: Wonderful! Awesome! Fantastic! Hahahhaha!

Mabuhay ang mga coño! Mabuhay!

Then our lovely learning adviser brought us some lemmington (ei, please check my spelling). She said, i think most of you are exhausted so i brought you some lemmington! The whole class clapped their hands, at isa pa ata ako sa pinakamalakas mag cheer. Then she asked, you know what lemmington is? Sagot ako ng malakas, I have no idea. Hahahaha!!!!

Anong lulutuin ko?

Bigla kong namiss ang dorm. Sa dorm naman kasi, ang daming pwedeng mapagtanungan pag di mo na alam. Dito mag isa ako. Kaya ko to. Ayokong ubusin ang mga dolyar ko sa mahal na pagkain sa labas.

I bear in mind my mantra: mix, mix, put on fire, and ulam na! Hahahaha! After all, meron pa akong “beginner’s luck”. Oh, The Alchemist, I miss that book. “maktub, maktub, it is written”.

Breakfast: something frozen

Fry lang ako ng mga siomai ko. Nung tinanong ako ng Chinese housemate ko sabi ko siomai, di ako naintindihan. I thought Chinese na yun. Anyway, sabi niya, dimsum. Sabi ko, OK. Whew! Gutom ako. Siyempre dapat may kape din. Kaya binuksan ko yung instant coffee ko from coles. Counterpart yan dito ng 3 in 1 ng Nescafe na favourite ko jan pag nagsusulat ako. As in pag pumasok ka opisina naming at hinanap mo ako, sundan mo lang ang amoy ng kape, ako yun. Hahaha!

Lunch: Livestock meets the garden

1.Ang mga sangkap lang nito ay giniling na pork, beans, carrots. Ang sekretong pampalasa, ang Mama sita’s. Hahahah! At siyempre salt and sugar.
2.Tunawin ang Mama sita’s sa tubig. Tapos kasabay nito ay iluto na ang pork. Pag brown na, ilagay ang tinunaw na Mama Sita’s na menudo mix.
3.Tapos, ilagay na ang beans and carrots.
4.Ayos, may ulam na ako.

Dinner: Garden meets the sea (plus tofu)

1.Isangag ang shrimp. Tapos, tanggalin sa kawali. Pag malamig na, balatan.
2.Prituhin ang ginayat na tofu.
3.Ilagay ang ginayat na carrots at beans (carrots at beans pa lang ang nabibili ko dito na gulay. Mamalengke na ulit ako bukas)
4.Tapos ihalo ang mga binalatang shrimp.
5.Ilagay ang tinunaw na Mama Sita’s this time yung chopsuey mix naman. Tapos dagdagan ng asin at asukal.

Tumatama din naman ang tsamba. Hahahaha!

Unrequited Love

a postcard to heaven

Dear Teacher Lumen,

This is actually a long-delayed letter. I apologize for not writing sooner - I have been having a hard time putting into words the maelstrom of emotions that I have been feeling for the past months.

I am 24 now. It's amazing how fast time flies. Remember when you treated me to lunch during my 21st birthday? We were in Los Banos. How about the times when we spent hours talking and talking over a plate of pasta?

Nothing much has changed, except you're in the other side now. I don't know if I have changed for the better, or worse. It doesn't matter. In time, reason will come. According to Steve Jobs, we can only connect the dots looking backwards and not forward. I guess this is not the time to start connecting them.

I still have so much guilt in me for not being able to visit you in the hospital when you were sick. I admit, I got scared. Not scared of being around sick people, as you were always concerned about, but scared of losing you. Scared of hearing you say final, heartfelt words that will make me feel worse about myself. I have always felt that I don't deserve to be your daughter. I can almost hear you contradict me as I write this. But I digress.

Looking back at our shared moments, I feel a sense of calm and sadness. I have always believed that God directs the people that we meet in our lives, even if it is a complete stranger seated beside you on a bus. I am glad you are a part of my life - and I am saying this in the present tense. I feel you with me. You are a part of me now.

I can almost smell the scent of the air when we first met - on a hot summer day in UP. You gave me a copy of Sophie's world.

Remember when you introduced me to him? It was love, love as with Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera. But like all other things, it passed.

I wish you can see him now.

to be continued

Jaime in different ways

Umattend ako ng Fellowship one time with Singaporeans, Malaysians, Thais, and others. Isinama ako ni kai.

Singaporean 1: What is your name?

Jaime: Jaime

Singaporean: Jamie

Jaime: No, Jaime. J-A-I-M-E

Singaporean: A, Hay, mem

Jaime: (Ngingiti) Jaime

Singaporean: How come the J is pronounced as H?

Jaime: It’s a Spanish name. We were colonised by Spain for more than 300 years (You want more of Philippine History? You can sit down and I can talk about Agoncillo’s book, or you want Zaide’s? Hehehhe)

Malaysian: Your name is Hay mem?

Jaime: Jaime

Malaysian: A, Hymen.

Jaime: (Tatawa) hahahah! It’s Jaime.

Lecturer: You are Highmay from the Philippines.

Jaime: I’m from the Philippines, and it’s Jaime.

Lecturer: A, Jamie.

Jaime: ;)

Conversations and looking around

Ang aastig ng mga kasabay ko dito. Mga bigatin sila sa mga bansa nila. Si Mary na kaibigan ko na ay prosecutor from Kenya. She said, if you go to Kenya, and you violate any law I will prosecute you.” That kinda scared me off. But we are very good friends. She is living now with as she said, a very kind Filipino couple.
Yung hot na hot ko pang isang friend ay nagtatrabaho sa World Bank sa Laos. Yung isa naman ay Planning Officer sa Papua New Guinea. Si Kuya Ben ay sa Senado. Yihee! Ako, wala lang, batang blogger na nakakuha ng scholarship. Hahaha!

------

May kasabay ako sa IAP na from Afghanistan. After nung isang session namin, I approached him. I was very excited actually. I asked him if he knows the books “Kite Runner” and “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini. The former is the first English novel from Afghanistan. He said he didn’t know. Ako naman parang baliw, i insisted by giving background of Khaled Hosseini. He said, the thing with books as those is that lots of emotions are put into writing them. Well, as for me, i knew that the two books were fiction so there should be not much debate about it. Anyway, nagbakasakali lang naman ako, di pala siya fan ni Khaled. Nakaready na sana yung tanong ko kung saan ba si Khaled sa Afghanistan? Mayaman ba siya? Malawak ba lupain nila? Malapit ba sila sa rice-growing area ng Afghanistan? Yihee! PhilRice!

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One afternoon, nasa book fest ako. Habang tumitingin ako ng mga books na ubod ng dami, actually sabi nila that was the biggest book fest in the universe!, nakakita ako ng magnanay.

Bata: Mom, I wanna go there on the other side (ang liit niya pa mga 1 year old lang ata)

Nanay: Go check that out. Enjoy yourself. (Cool na cool at busy lang sa pag search ng book)

Ako: Ano???!!! Sigurado ka? Papabayaan mo yung paslit na gumala? Pano pag nadaganan siya ng mga britanica encyclopaedia? Ng mga hardbound? Nashock talaga ako while at the same time natawa.

Katahimikan

Kahapon umalis na yung Malaysian housemate ko na si Kai, 21 lang yun. Napakabait na bata. Uwi daw siya ng Malaysia for the Chinese New Year at di na siya babalik dito lipat na siya ng tirahan pagbalik niya. Actually nagkwento siya na tatay niya lang ang naghatid sa kanya sa airport nung papunta siya dito tapos yun larga na siya. Naisip ko halos buong pamilya ang naghatid sa akin at walang katapusang babayan pa yun sa NAIA.

Guys, si Kai ay isa lang sa 2,000 na Malaysians na nakakalat sa buong mundo na pinapaaral ng bansa nila, undergrad not postgrad. Tapos balik ng Malaysia to serve. Astig sila noh.

Anyway, 3 na lang kami dito. Yung 2 Chinese na babae at lalaki. Di kami nag-uusap-usap. Hi and Hello lang. Kung minsan nakakapag-usap pero parang gusto din naming i cut yung conversation dahil sobra kaming walang mapag-usapan. Minsan naisip ko ng lahat ng pwedeng opening pero maikli lang talaga kami mag-usap. Iniisip ko nga gusto ko ng simulan ang mga conversations ko ng “I have a lot of fears”. Yung mga pang umpisa ko pag gusto ko mabully sa dorm namin sa PhilRice. Tapos bibigyan ko sila ng mga pang slumbook na questions, tapos yung favourite nila, favourite ko na rin.

Example:
Jaime: What is your favourite colour?
Housemate: Green!
Jaime: Green is such a lovely colour. It’s so clean. I love it too. Pretty much like the color of trees. (tapos buhay na buhay na ako. Tapos sila onting pilit na ngiti lang.) Ahhhh.

Pero ewan ko ba, di lang talaga nila siguro feel masayado magsalita. Kaya kung minsan kinakausap ko na lang ang sarili ko. Di ako baliw ha, communicating from within lang yun. O di ba, sinicircumvent ko na naman ang mga bagay-bagay. Hahaha! Takot din naman kasi ako masayado sila i joke kasi baka magaling sila sa martial arts. Naalala ko tuloy yung Crouching Tiger, Hidden dragon. Hahaha! But seriously, ambait ng dalawa at masipag.

Minsan sa sobrang katahimikan pagdadating ko from school, kulang na lang kausapin ko ang mga gamit ko: Uy salita naman kayo? Kayo naman o, ba’t ang tahimik niyo? Hahahaha!

Tatantanan ko na sila.

Alam niyo nararamdaman ko na ang feeling ng isang OFW. Yung malayo sa pamilya, etc. Buti nga ako single. Bigla ko tuloy naisip yung mga ka co-scholar ko na may asawa, gustung-gusto na nilang dalhin ang family nila dito. Pero nung session namin dun, they were discouraged to bring their families with them. Dahil sa high cost of living, etc etc. Marami nalungkot. Yung friend kong Kenyan, sabi niya, “I just miss them so much...” prosecutor siya sa Kenya, and may 3 na ata siyang anak. Yung Vietnamese ko naman na friend, 1 week old pa lang yung baby niya nung umalis siya. Buntung hininga.

Di ko na alam kung pano tapusin to. Til next time.

What’s on your mind?

I love this question. I think most conversations with strangers should start in this way instead of the template how are you? Especially so that people don’t actually mean it whenever they ask that. What’s on your mind is straightforward and honest.

Now let me ask myself, what’s on my mind? Not much really. I have just arrived from Indooroopilly shopping mall after our IAP. This day is quite uneventful. Not that I expected so much for today. It’s just that not much happened as of this writing.

The three Filipino ADS said they are dropping by to check my place. They probably want to move in. Well, it’s a good thing if they do. It can be very lonely here in my place. The Malaysian guy just left and now I am sharing the house with a Chinese guy and gal. Both of them are very nice but we seldom talk. There are times when we do but they are not just the conversation buddy type. We just say our hi and hello, and little chit chats, and we are off to do what we have to.

There are plus and minus sides to it. There are times when I just want to talk to share whatever I have on my mind but our circumstances would not permit. We see each other just at night time. After cooking, we are all back to our respective rooms. Man, we are social animals. Or, it’s just I? I don’t know. There’s got to be much more sense here.

The good thing of course is we are pretty much left to whatever stuff we want to do on our own. No questions whatsoever. There is no need to qualify ourselves.

Am I such a socially dependent person? I thought I was a hermit. I thought I could very well manage on my own. Well I can, but not to the point of talking to myself, although I do that sometimes.

This can be difficult. I think this is the price of being in a first world country. In an effort to make things easy for everybody, we have relied so much on wiring ourselves. While it means efficiency and convenience, nothing replaces face-to-face communication. I will never trade my wonderful moments with my friends chatting in the living room in our staff dormitory. I remember I even traveled all the way from Nueva Ecija to Manila just to have some good conversation with friends. It was exhausting but I was very happy afterwards.

Handshakes, loud laughs cannot be replaced by emoticons! Another month here and it won’t be a surprise if I would end up asking the first person I run into, are you happy? I think we have created a world which is quite alien to all of us.

I think t it’s time we rethink how we’re living our lives. Being too organized can be boring sometimes. Having just a bit of clutter on the side won’t be so bad.

Afloat

I am reminded today of a boat sailing at the middle of an open sea. From above the boat is nothing. The huge sea can just gobble it, and it would be difficult to find any trace the boat was ever there. The boat might just vanish into oblivion.

The boat can be blown away in many directions. To its left, right, anywhere. One thing is clear thou, the boat isn’t quite sure where to go. It doesn’t have any definite direction. It can get lost. Or, it may not.

The unpredictability of the circumstances makes the whole scenario a lot more beautiful. The boat, thou lifeless, can experience many thrilling moments. It is at the mercy of the wind. The wind can either be kind or cruel. Whatever happens, the boat is off to an adventure. At some point, it’s a win-win for the boat. There's nothing to be afraid of: sharks, getting drowned. To begin with, the boat doesn’t feel anything. It cannot feel anything. It’s lifeless.

Which makes it quite disadvantageous now. While the boat is off to a marvellous adventure, it will not in any way be able to rejoice on whatever triumphs it may experience along the way. It cannot yell, it cannot cry. It’s nothing. It will remain a wooden boat. Stiff to be exact. The adventure will be over and it will just be nothing for the boat. Another routine.

If in any way you find this piece a crap, it really is. My mind wanders. I have just been to quite a few places today. Classes won’t start until the first week of March. I’m pretty much like the boat: sailing. The only difference is that I’m feeling everything, every single moment, and I’m enjoying it.

Sa bago kong bahay atbp

Welcome sa bago kong bahay. I am sharing a house with 1 Chinese guy my age, 1 Chinese girl who is younger by a year I guess, and 1 Malaysian 3 years my junior. The home is very Asian, very homey. I love this place. It can be very quiet here, kahit magsisigaw ako dito keber lang siguro mga kapitbahay ko. May nalaman lang ako, bawal na magingay pag lagpas na 11pm. Pag nag ingay ka, magrereklamo ang mga neighbours. The very powerful neighbours. Hehehe.

By the way, guys, after 1 week, nakaikot na din ako sa ilang mga puntahan dito sa Brisbane: supermarket, mall na sarado na alas singko pa lang, tour around the city, and other areas. My, I should have done that a few days ago kaya lang natakot ako magwander baka makarating ako sa place na may mga cannibals. Hahaha! Paranoid lang talaga ako.

Iniisip ko lang, pag-uwi ko jan sa Pilipinas, negritong payat ako. Grabe, the sun is really hot. Kaya nga unti-unti kong pinapauso ang payong dito. Na miss ko tuloy ang elbi na fashion statement ng mga tao ang payong. Kaya bumili ako ng PAYONG, as in like the one I have there yung brown. Kaya pag dumadaan ako mejo may napapangiti, may napapalingon, bahala sila. Di ko kaya init. Buti na lang at dinamayan ako ng ilang mga Asians.

Tapos, nakapunta na ako sa market dito. Natuwa ako ng nakakita ako ng Palmolive Naturals. Astig! Cheap lang siya sa Pilipinas, international pala siya. Survive na buhok ko nito although gusto ko talaga Clear para iwas dandruff. Ang hinahanap ko na lang ay safeguard at master with glutathione. Malapit na maubos supply ko.

Kanina, nakapunta ako sa isang Asian grocery store. Panay Chinese at Vietnamese ang labels as in tinitingnan ko na lang, ito mukhang toyo, tapos, iikutin ko lalagyan “alam ko may English dito kahit kapiranggot, Ayan, soy sauce nga!” Hahaha! And guess what, ng nakakita ako ng “Mama Sita’s”, muntik pa akong mapasigaw. Sabi ko sa kasama ko na Malaysian, “This is from the Philippines!” Binalik-balikan ko talaga yung barcode to check if it starts in 480, our intl barcode. Nung nabili ko na Mama Sita’s, bigla akong napatanong, ano namang paggagamitan ko nito, di naman ako maalam magluto? Hahaha! Lupet. Ang sarap mag-adik dito.

By the way, yung pera nila dito parang mga play money lang. Ang gaganda kasi saka parang bago parati. Sa atin, gula-gulanit na banat pa din. Yung iba ngang mga bills, ayoko gastusin, una inakala kong play money siya. Hahaha! But then when i realized na magugutom ako, OK na. Ginastos ko na yung play money. Tapos, yung mga coins nila, mas malaki, mas maliit ang value. Yung mga malilit kong coins, di ko pinapansin kasi walang jo, andaming bente singko ah. Pero nung chineck ko yung amount, my, the value is higher! Unti-unti ko na siyang vinalue. Hehehe.

One thing I realized, pag di mo masyado alam yung value ng currency, you don’t seem to give much value to it. Like in my case, bili lang ako ng bili kanina sa supermarket. Tapos nagugulat ako na andaming nabili ng $100 ko. Aba yung PhP 100 ko kain lang ako sa cafeteria namin e nangangalahati na agad yun.

Citizen of the world

When I was looking for my permanent accommodation, a Thai woman said, "You look like Thai. Go talk to Ivan (the other Filipino Ausaid scholar) so you see who's handsome who?" hahaha!!!

Tapos nung una pa, the Chinese landlady said, "I knew you were a Filipino, but you've got American accent. Pretty weird." (Ano ako hybrid???!!!).

And then during the getting started session, the lecturer pointed at me, nasa pinakalikod kasi ako kasi wala na akong kasamang Pinoy dun, "Are you from Vietnam?" "No, I am from the Philippines." Then she said, "Kamusta?" "Mabuti." tapos ngiti na lang siya dahil wala na siya maireply na Filipino. hahahaha!

Whew! I'm so generic. ;)