Anong lulutuin ko?

Bigla kong namiss ang dorm. Sa dorm naman kasi, ang daming pwedeng mapagtanungan pag di mo na alam. Dito mag isa ako. Kaya ko to. Ayokong ubusin ang mga dolyar ko sa mahal na pagkain sa labas.

I bear in mind my mantra: mix, mix, put on fire, and ulam na! Hahahaha! After all, meron pa akong “beginner’s luck”. Oh, The Alchemist, I miss that book. “maktub, maktub, it is written”.

Breakfast: something frozen

Fry lang ako ng mga siomai ko. Nung tinanong ako ng Chinese housemate ko sabi ko siomai, di ako naintindihan. I thought Chinese na yun. Anyway, sabi niya, dimsum. Sabi ko, OK. Whew! Gutom ako. Siyempre dapat may kape din. Kaya binuksan ko yung instant coffee ko from coles. Counterpart yan dito ng 3 in 1 ng Nescafe na favourite ko jan pag nagsusulat ako. As in pag pumasok ka opisina naming at hinanap mo ako, sundan mo lang ang amoy ng kape, ako yun. Hahaha!

Lunch: Livestock meets the garden

1.Ang mga sangkap lang nito ay giniling na pork, beans, carrots. Ang sekretong pampalasa, ang Mama sita’s. Hahahah! At siyempre salt and sugar.
2.Tunawin ang Mama sita’s sa tubig. Tapos kasabay nito ay iluto na ang pork. Pag brown na, ilagay ang tinunaw na Mama Sita’s na menudo mix.
3.Tapos, ilagay na ang beans and carrots.
4.Ayos, may ulam na ako.

Dinner: Garden meets the sea (plus tofu)

1.Isangag ang shrimp. Tapos, tanggalin sa kawali. Pag malamig na, balatan.
2.Prituhin ang ginayat na tofu.
3.Ilagay ang ginayat na carrots at beans (carrots at beans pa lang ang nabibili ko dito na gulay. Mamalengke na ulit ako bukas)
4.Tapos ihalo ang mga binalatang shrimp.
5.Ilagay ang tinunaw na Mama Sita’s this time yung chopsuey mix naman. Tapos dagdagan ng asin at asukal.

Tumatama din naman ang tsamba. Hahahaha!

Unrequited Love

a postcard to heaven

Dear Teacher Lumen,

This is actually a long-delayed letter. I apologize for not writing sooner - I have been having a hard time putting into words the maelstrom of emotions that I have been feeling for the past months.

I am 24 now. It's amazing how fast time flies. Remember when you treated me to lunch during my 21st birthday? We were in Los Banos. How about the times when we spent hours talking and talking over a plate of pasta?

Nothing much has changed, except you're in the other side now. I don't know if I have changed for the better, or worse. It doesn't matter. In time, reason will come. According to Steve Jobs, we can only connect the dots looking backwards and not forward. I guess this is not the time to start connecting them.

I still have so much guilt in me for not being able to visit you in the hospital when you were sick. I admit, I got scared. Not scared of being around sick people, as you were always concerned about, but scared of losing you. Scared of hearing you say final, heartfelt words that will make me feel worse about myself. I have always felt that I don't deserve to be your daughter. I can almost hear you contradict me as I write this. But I digress.

Looking back at our shared moments, I feel a sense of calm and sadness. I have always believed that God directs the people that we meet in our lives, even if it is a complete stranger seated beside you on a bus. I am glad you are a part of my life - and I am saying this in the present tense. I feel you with me. You are a part of me now.

I can almost smell the scent of the air when we first met - on a hot summer day in UP. You gave me a copy of Sophie's world.

Remember when you introduced me to him? It was love, love as with Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera. But like all other things, it passed.

I wish you can see him now.

to be continued

Jaime in different ways

Umattend ako ng Fellowship one time with Singaporeans, Malaysians, Thais, and others. Isinama ako ni kai.

Singaporean 1: What is your name?

Jaime: Jaime

Singaporean: Jamie

Jaime: No, Jaime. J-A-I-M-E

Singaporean: A, Hay, mem

Jaime: (Ngingiti) Jaime

Singaporean: How come the J is pronounced as H?

Jaime: It’s a Spanish name. We were colonised by Spain for more than 300 years (You want more of Philippine History? You can sit down and I can talk about Agoncillo’s book, or you want Zaide’s? Hehehhe)

Malaysian: Your name is Hay mem?

Jaime: Jaime

Malaysian: A, Hymen.

Jaime: (Tatawa) hahahah! It’s Jaime.

Lecturer: You are Highmay from the Philippines.

Jaime: I’m from the Philippines, and it’s Jaime.

Lecturer: A, Jamie.

Jaime: ;)

Conversations and looking around

Ang aastig ng mga kasabay ko dito. Mga bigatin sila sa mga bansa nila. Si Mary na kaibigan ko na ay prosecutor from Kenya. She said, if you go to Kenya, and you violate any law I will prosecute you.” That kinda scared me off. But we are very good friends. She is living now with as she said, a very kind Filipino couple.
Yung hot na hot ko pang isang friend ay nagtatrabaho sa World Bank sa Laos. Yung isa naman ay Planning Officer sa Papua New Guinea. Si Kuya Ben ay sa Senado. Yihee! Ako, wala lang, batang blogger na nakakuha ng scholarship. Hahaha!

------

May kasabay ako sa IAP na from Afghanistan. After nung isang session namin, I approached him. I was very excited actually. I asked him if he knows the books “Kite Runner” and “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini. The former is the first English novel from Afghanistan. He said he didn’t know. Ako naman parang baliw, i insisted by giving background of Khaled Hosseini. He said, the thing with books as those is that lots of emotions are put into writing them. Well, as for me, i knew that the two books were fiction so there should be not much debate about it. Anyway, nagbakasakali lang naman ako, di pala siya fan ni Khaled. Nakaready na sana yung tanong ko kung saan ba si Khaled sa Afghanistan? Mayaman ba siya? Malawak ba lupain nila? Malapit ba sila sa rice-growing area ng Afghanistan? Yihee! PhilRice!

-----

One afternoon, nasa book fest ako. Habang tumitingin ako ng mga books na ubod ng dami, actually sabi nila that was the biggest book fest in the universe!, nakakita ako ng magnanay.

Bata: Mom, I wanna go there on the other side (ang liit niya pa mga 1 year old lang ata)

Nanay: Go check that out. Enjoy yourself. (Cool na cool at busy lang sa pag search ng book)

Ako: Ano???!!! Sigurado ka? Papabayaan mo yung paslit na gumala? Pano pag nadaganan siya ng mga britanica encyclopaedia? Ng mga hardbound? Nashock talaga ako while at the same time natawa.

Katahimikan

Kahapon umalis na yung Malaysian housemate ko na si Kai, 21 lang yun. Napakabait na bata. Uwi daw siya ng Malaysia for the Chinese New Year at di na siya babalik dito lipat na siya ng tirahan pagbalik niya. Actually nagkwento siya na tatay niya lang ang naghatid sa kanya sa airport nung papunta siya dito tapos yun larga na siya. Naisip ko halos buong pamilya ang naghatid sa akin at walang katapusang babayan pa yun sa NAIA.

Guys, si Kai ay isa lang sa 2,000 na Malaysians na nakakalat sa buong mundo na pinapaaral ng bansa nila, undergrad not postgrad. Tapos balik ng Malaysia to serve. Astig sila noh.

Anyway, 3 na lang kami dito. Yung 2 Chinese na babae at lalaki. Di kami nag-uusap-usap. Hi and Hello lang. Kung minsan nakakapag-usap pero parang gusto din naming i cut yung conversation dahil sobra kaming walang mapag-usapan. Minsan naisip ko ng lahat ng pwedeng opening pero maikli lang talaga kami mag-usap. Iniisip ko nga gusto ko ng simulan ang mga conversations ko ng “I have a lot of fears”. Yung mga pang umpisa ko pag gusto ko mabully sa dorm namin sa PhilRice. Tapos bibigyan ko sila ng mga pang slumbook na questions, tapos yung favourite nila, favourite ko na rin.

Example:
Jaime: What is your favourite colour?
Housemate: Green!
Jaime: Green is such a lovely colour. It’s so clean. I love it too. Pretty much like the color of trees. (tapos buhay na buhay na ako. Tapos sila onting pilit na ngiti lang.) Ahhhh.

Pero ewan ko ba, di lang talaga nila siguro feel masayado magsalita. Kaya kung minsan kinakausap ko na lang ang sarili ko. Di ako baliw ha, communicating from within lang yun. O di ba, sinicircumvent ko na naman ang mga bagay-bagay. Hahaha! Takot din naman kasi ako masayado sila i joke kasi baka magaling sila sa martial arts. Naalala ko tuloy yung Crouching Tiger, Hidden dragon. Hahaha! But seriously, ambait ng dalawa at masipag.

Minsan sa sobrang katahimikan pagdadating ko from school, kulang na lang kausapin ko ang mga gamit ko: Uy salita naman kayo? Kayo naman o, ba’t ang tahimik niyo? Hahahaha!

Tatantanan ko na sila.

Alam niyo nararamdaman ko na ang feeling ng isang OFW. Yung malayo sa pamilya, etc. Buti nga ako single. Bigla ko tuloy naisip yung mga ka co-scholar ko na may asawa, gustung-gusto na nilang dalhin ang family nila dito. Pero nung session namin dun, they were discouraged to bring their families with them. Dahil sa high cost of living, etc etc. Marami nalungkot. Yung friend kong Kenyan, sabi niya, “I just miss them so much...” prosecutor siya sa Kenya, and may 3 na ata siyang anak. Yung Vietnamese ko naman na friend, 1 week old pa lang yung baby niya nung umalis siya. Buntung hininga.

Di ko na alam kung pano tapusin to. Til next time.

What’s on your mind?

I love this question. I think most conversations with strangers should start in this way instead of the template how are you? Especially so that people don’t actually mean it whenever they ask that. What’s on your mind is straightforward and honest.

Now let me ask myself, what’s on my mind? Not much really. I have just arrived from Indooroopilly shopping mall after our IAP. This day is quite uneventful. Not that I expected so much for today. It’s just that not much happened as of this writing.

The three Filipino ADS said they are dropping by to check my place. They probably want to move in. Well, it’s a good thing if they do. It can be very lonely here in my place. The Malaysian guy just left and now I am sharing the house with a Chinese guy and gal. Both of them are very nice but we seldom talk. There are times when we do but they are not just the conversation buddy type. We just say our hi and hello, and little chit chats, and we are off to do what we have to.

There are plus and minus sides to it. There are times when I just want to talk to share whatever I have on my mind but our circumstances would not permit. We see each other just at night time. After cooking, we are all back to our respective rooms. Man, we are social animals. Or, it’s just I? I don’t know. There’s got to be much more sense here.

The good thing of course is we are pretty much left to whatever stuff we want to do on our own. No questions whatsoever. There is no need to qualify ourselves.

Am I such a socially dependent person? I thought I was a hermit. I thought I could very well manage on my own. Well I can, but not to the point of talking to myself, although I do that sometimes.

This can be difficult. I think this is the price of being in a first world country. In an effort to make things easy for everybody, we have relied so much on wiring ourselves. While it means efficiency and convenience, nothing replaces face-to-face communication. I will never trade my wonderful moments with my friends chatting in the living room in our staff dormitory. I remember I even traveled all the way from Nueva Ecija to Manila just to have some good conversation with friends. It was exhausting but I was very happy afterwards.

Handshakes, loud laughs cannot be replaced by emoticons! Another month here and it won’t be a surprise if I would end up asking the first person I run into, are you happy? I think we have created a world which is quite alien to all of us.

I think t it’s time we rethink how we’re living our lives. Being too organized can be boring sometimes. Having just a bit of clutter on the side won’t be so bad.

Afloat

I am reminded today of a boat sailing at the middle of an open sea. From above the boat is nothing. The huge sea can just gobble it, and it would be difficult to find any trace the boat was ever there. The boat might just vanish into oblivion.

The boat can be blown away in many directions. To its left, right, anywhere. One thing is clear thou, the boat isn’t quite sure where to go. It doesn’t have any definite direction. It can get lost. Or, it may not.

The unpredictability of the circumstances makes the whole scenario a lot more beautiful. The boat, thou lifeless, can experience many thrilling moments. It is at the mercy of the wind. The wind can either be kind or cruel. Whatever happens, the boat is off to an adventure. At some point, it’s a win-win for the boat. There's nothing to be afraid of: sharks, getting drowned. To begin with, the boat doesn’t feel anything. It cannot feel anything. It’s lifeless.

Which makes it quite disadvantageous now. While the boat is off to a marvellous adventure, it will not in any way be able to rejoice on whatever triumphs it may experience along the way. It cannot yell, it cannot cry. It’s nothing. It will remain a wooden boat. Stiff to be exact. The adventure will be over and it will just be nothing for the boat. Another routine.

If in any way you find this piece a crap, it really is. My mind wanders. I have just been to quite a few places today. Classes won’t start until the first week of March. I’m pretty much like the boat: sailing. The only difference is that I’m feeling everything, every single moment, and I’m enjoying it.

Sa bago kong bahay atbp

Welcome sa bago kong bahay. I am sharing a house with 1 Chinese guy my age, 1 Chinese girl who is younger by a year I guess, and 1 Malaysian 3 years my junior. The home is very Asian, very homey. I love this place. It can be very quiet here, kahit magsisigaw ako dito keber lang siguro mga kapitbahay ko. May nalaman lang ako, bawal na magingay pag lagpas na 11pm. Pag nag ingay ka, magrereklamo ang mga neighbours. The very powerful neighbours. Hehehe.

By the way, guys, after 1 week, nakaikot na din ako sa ilang mga puntahan dito sa Brisbane: supermarket, mall na sarado na alas singko pa lang, tour around the city, and other areas. My, I should have done that a few days ago kaya lang natakot ako magwander baka makarating ako sa place na may mga cannibals. Hahaha! Paranoid lang talaga ako.

Iniisip ko lang, pag-uwi ko jan sa Pilipinas, negritong payat ako. Grabe, the sun is really hot. Kaya nga unti-unti kong pinapauso ang payong dito. Na miss ko tuloy ang elbi na fashion statement ng mga tao ang payong. Kaya bumili ako ng PAYONG, as in like the one I have there yung brown. Kaya pag dumadaan ako mejo may napapangiti, may napapalingon, bahala sila. Di ko kaya init. Buti na lang at dinamayan ako ng ilang mga Asians.

Tapos, nakapunta na ako sa market dito. Natuwa ako ng nakakita ako ng Palmolive Naturals. Astig! Cheap lang siya sa Pilipinas, international pala siya. Survive na buhok ko nito although gusto ko talaga Clear para iwas dandruff. Ang hinahanap ko na lang ay safeguard at master with glutathione. Malapit na maubos supply ko.

Kanina, nakapunta ako sa isang Asian grocery store. Panay Chinese at Vietnamese ang labels as in tinitingnan ko na lang, ito mukhang toyo, tapos, iikutin ko lalagyan “alam ko may English dito kahit kapiranggot, Ayan, soy sauce nga!” Hahaha! And guess what, ng nakakita ako ng “Mama Sita’s”, muntik pa akong mapasigaw. Sabi ko sa kasama ko na Malaysian, “This is from the Philippines!” Binalik-balikan ko talaga yung barcode to check if it starts in 480, our intl barcode. Nung nabili ko na Mama Sita’s, bigla akong napatanong, ano namang paggagamitan ko nito, di naman ako maalam magluto? Hahaha! Lupet. Ang sarap mag-adik dito.

By the way, yung pera nila dito parang mga play money lang. Ang gaganda kasi saka parang bago parati. Sa atin, gula-gulanit na banat pa din. Yung iba ngang mga bills, ayoko gastusin, una inakala kong play money siya. Hahaha! But then when i realized na magugutom ako, OK na. Ginastos ko na yung play money. Tapos, yung mga coins nila, mas malaki, mas maliit ang value. Yung mga malilit kong coins, di ko pinapansin kasi walang jo, andaming bente singko ah. Pero nung chineck ko yung amount, my, the value is higher! Unti-unti ko na siyang vinalue. Hehehe.

One thing I realized, pag di mo masyado alam yung value ng currency, you don’t seem to give much value to it. Like in my case, bili lang ako ng bili kanina sa supermarket. Tapos nagugulat ako na andaming nabili ng $100 ko. Aba yung PhP 100 ko kain lang ako sa cafeteria namin e nangangalahati na agad yun.

Citizen of the world

When I was looking for my permanent accommodation, a Thai woman said, "You look like Thai. Go talk to Ivan (the other Filipino Ausaid scholar) so you see who's handsome who?" hahaha!!!

Tapos nung una pa, the Chinese landlady said, "I knew you were a Filipino, but you've got American accent. Pretty weird." (Ano ako hybrid???!!!).

And then during the getting started session, the lecturer pointed at me, nasa pinakalikod kasi ako kasi wala na akong kasamang Pinoy dun, "Are you from Vietnam?" "No, I am from the Philippines." Then she said, "Kamusta?" "Mabuti." tapos ngiti na lang siya dahil wala na siya maireply na Filipino. hahahaha!

Whew! I'm so generic. ;)

Jaime in da city (Australia version)

Sa airport

Two minutes lang pwede magbaba kaya sa sasakyan pa lang mega plan na ang ate ko sa mga mangyayari sa 2 minutes. Kinuha niya na digicam niya, tapos nakaplano na din ang mga sunud-sunod na yayakapin ko. Hahaha!

Baba sa kotse


Mama: Dali baba ka na anak at ang dami tao.
Jaime: Opo ma.
Ate 1: OK ayan nakababa na. Picture picture. Bilis. O jan ka Pa sa tabi, kuya jan ka sa tabi ni papa...

Yakapan na, si Kuya muna, ate 2, ate 1, papa, and then si mama.

Ate 1: O siya dali na at baka paalisin na tayo dito.

Yakapan ulit part 2, with the same sequence. Hahaha! And siyempre, naiyak mama ko. Tapos habang hila ko yung bag ko, babay kami ng bonggang-bongga. Ng papasok na ako, paglingon ko, nakatingin pa din sila kaya babayan ulit. Pagpasok ko sa airport, may text agad mama ko, miss niya na daw ako.


Sa eroplano Manila to Bangkok

Pagpasok ko pa lang e mejo nawawala ako sa sarili, nagulat na lang ako ng biglang may nagbabow, sudaka ba yun? Paulit-ulit. Ayan, naki bow na din ako. Hahaha! Dis wey plis... hahaha!

Nung nagseserve na ng meal.


Jaime: Excuse me, this one, it has egg?
Attendant: Egg? (Ngingiti muna)
Jaime: yes, i’ve got food restrictions, cant eat eggs.
Attendant: (ba bow then ngingiti). I’ll ask, but yeah i think it has egg yolk. (ngingiti ulit) How about coffee?
Jaime: decaffeinated?
Attendant: (Ngingiti muna) Yes (at magbibigay ng kape)
Jaime: (Checking if decaf nga) decaf?
Attendant: ha? No it’s not. Im sorry we’ll change it. Please wait.
(Ang charming niya ang liit pa, ang cute-cute ng instance na yun)

Sa Bangkok

Mabilis ang paglakad namin ni ate mae dahil lilipad din kami agad. Pero napag-usapn pa namin ang mga buhay-buhay, edad niya, reason for studying abroad, and alot more in less than 10 minutes. Tapos nung marami na kaming napag-usapan, sabay tanong si ate, ano nga ulit pangalan mo? Hahhaha!

Sa loob ng eroplano, ayan at pagpasok may mga nagbabow na naman. Na notice ko lang pare-pareho sila ng head dress, yung mga bata. Yung mejo senior staff nila, ginto o nakaplaster ang ngiti. Haahaha! Miminahin mo ngiti nung senior attendants. Katuwa. Parang ngingiti saglit tapos bigla poker face ulit. Hahahaha!

Katabi ko dalwang aussie girls. Tapos gulat ako sa ibang aussies, kasi ayaw nila maistorbo yung katabi nila na natutulog na, kapag gustio nila umihi, dumudukwang na lang sila, as in! Tawang-tawa na talaga ako nun. Astig di ba?

Tapos bigla nagsalita ang captain, hay, niyak! Katakot ang boses. Ano ba yung salita ng mga Thai, basta yung wika nila muna, then english. Nung di ko maintindihan, sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, Brisbane na daw maya umaga. Hahaha!

Sa buong 8 hours na flight na yun, wala ako makausap ng matagal. Mabuti na lang at nadala ko si Sophie sa Sophie’s World, muntik ko pang matapos yung book ko kung di lang ako inantok. Ang weird lang kasi natatawa ako mag-isa kay Sophie. Sa PhilRice or nung college pag may mga ganun, mga adik kong friends agad. Siyempre ala naman mga ka barkada ko sa eroplano di ba? Hehehe. Napaka intelektuwal tuloy ng trip ko from Bangkok to Brisbane. Si Sophie, hilung-hilo na sa mga philosophers na inintroduce sa kanya ni Albert Knox. Kawawang bata, pero magaling siya ha, malamang laki sa am yun.



Brisbane airport

THIS ISREALLYISIT! OMG! AM HERE! Hahaha! OK, I composed myself. Took a deep breath, dapat maayos ako pag kaharap ko na immigartion officer para di ako maintimidate. Hehehe.
Pagpasok namin sa Airport, ang sungit nung immigration officer. Sabi niya dun sa babae before me:


Officer: Do you understand this? (papakita sa matanda na babae na parang Chinese)
Babae: (Tatango)
Officer: Can you read this? Read! Read!
Di makabasa yung ale. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, loko to ah. Kawawa yung babae, promise. Tapos nung ako na:
Officer: You speak english?
Jaime: Yes (gusto kong dagdagan ng fluently at You want to see my IELTS speaking score? Yabang niya kasi). Anyway, nalampasan ko yung quarantine etc.

Sundo


Ayan nakita ko agad yung sundo ko hawak ng isang matandang babae. THE UNIVERSITY OF QUEENSLAND!

Jaime to self: Siya ang driver ko???!!! (I approached her.)
Old woman: Hi! You are Jay-me?
Jaime: No, I’m Jaime.
Old woman: (Suspicious) You’re not Jay-me?
Jaime: I pronounce it as Jaime. I’m Jaime Manalo IV
Oldwoman: A, Manalo? Yes. Im not your driver. Your driver is on his way. He will be here in a few minutes. Please wait over there.
Jaime: (Salamat sa surname ko. Yun naghintay ako. Tapos nakakita ako ng internet, yan need to chat my sister, she’s online now for sure, sabi ko sa sarili ko. O di ba English na din ako mag-isip kasi Australia na, katulad ng relo, na synchronise ko na din brain ko. Hahahah! Kaya lang, may bayad yung net. Kaya di ako tumuloy. For sure may libreng internet sa UQ. )
Sinundo ako ng driver ko. Yun. BTW, yung old woman ay driver din. Sinundo niya yung mga pinoy na sa barko naman nagwowork. Nung naovertakean niya yung driver ko na kaibigan niya din, nilabas niya pa dila niya. Hahaha! Ang cool niya talaga. Mga mag 60 na ata yun.

Accommodation

Una agad na pumasok sa isip ko ay hanapin si Claudia Morales. Tanong agad ako dun sa babae. Excited.


Jaime: Hi! Are you Claudia Morales? I’m Jaime Manalo IV.
Receptionist: No, Im not Claudia.
Jaime: (Ganun? Dito ba talaga nagtatrabaho si Claudia sa UQ? In the first place, meron ba talagang Claudia Morales? Naloko ba ako? At kung anu-ano pang kaparanoidan ang naisip ko. Then, I collected myself) OK she must be working somehwere here.
Receptionist: Yes, this is just for your temprary accommodation. (ayan Jaime, temporary accommodation lang naman kasi, mamaya pa si Claudia Koronel este Morales)
Jaime: Thank you. (At dito na nangyari yung mga nauna kong kunuwento, yung binigyan ako ng dinikdik na carrots, hiniwa-hiwang pipino, at may turkey pa. I hope you like turkey sabi nung babae). Sigaw ko sa sarili ko: Rice! Rice!!!!)

The end